August 2024
August 31, 2024
For some reason I thought August was a thirty day month. I guess not. Anyways, went to an art fair this morning. It made me a little sad that I couldn't really afford anything. When I say art fair, I'm talking fine art. Artists visiting from many states over, selling woodworking and handmade jewlery and traditional artists with originals in the four figure range and prints in the threes. Made me sad not just that I can't afford it now, but that I probably never will be able to afford being the kind of person to fill her home with original artpieces. If I get the career I want out of this degree, I'm looking at maybe 60k, if i'm lucky, a few decades from now. Not great. Not very wise of me, but I truly do think I'd do well as a public librarian. Sometimes I think of myself as having taken a vow of poverty like a nun or something by going into this field. It's a cope for sure, and it doesn't make me any holier than people who actually do prioritize money. I was seething a bit over the summer when my sister got an hourly rate at an internship job that's higher than I'll probably see in the next ten years. That's her choice though, and she gets to reap the rewards of going into an actually lucrative field. I guess it's all about priorities though, at the end of the day. When it comes to affording art, I mean. Just yesterday I dropped sixty-something bones on a preorder on the Astro Bot game (Which i'm very excited for, by the way. I loved the pre-installed one on my ps5 and I'm really really happy to see a AAA 3D platformer come out. I'd like to support those kind of efforts when I can.)
See what I mean? just in that little addendum I managed to explain to myself where exactly my priorities lie. I guess I'm just a mass-market art kind of person. And I don't think I need to purchase original art from little boutique shops and individual artists to fill my walls with color. Right now, the art in my bedroom is a poster of the beach I got from IKEA and a bootleg superjail poster I got from Aliexpress for a dollar (lol). There's a few zines in the corner of my desk, also proof that you don't always need to be rich to support artists. I can't be mad at the expensive fine art folks though. They're just trying to make a living, and I know how many hours it takes to make just one piece. (That's why I don't try to sell my art; it would be too demoralizing to put a price on it that reflects what people would actually be willing to pay.)
As for not going insane this week? So far, so good. Yesterday I applied to a few random studies posted by the university and filled out some surverys. I don't know if any of them will want me (one in particular was seeking people who viewed themselves as eccentric, but their survery indicated to me that they mostly want schizophrenics, which I'm not) but if I do get into one I get to kill a few hours AND make a little bit of money, so win-win! Today I want to clean my apartment, start cracking down on my reading, and finish making all the pieces of a project so I can go to the library tomorrow morning just to sew them all together. I say it like that because sewing a bunch of pieces together is made much more difficult by my cats, so I like to do that part at the library where there's no animals to disturb me.
Oh, and a gaming update-I've decided to keep my ps plus indefinitely, and right now I'm playing Tinykin! I adore it, and I'd really like to write something about it when I get the chance (when I feel like it)
August 29, 2024
Guess who has the next FIVE days off in a row and isn't thrilled about it?!?! That's right! I don't have class on friday or tuesday, and monday is Labor Day so everything is closed. My one friend is out of town for the weekend and staring down the barrel of 'what to do with myself for five days' isn't looking too good. I try to stay optimistic though, and I try to plan things for myself to do. Tomorrow I think I'll walk to the lib bookstore and not buy anything, and then maybe go to the cat cafe and perhaps buy something, and maybe in the evening i'll go to the video store (yes! we have one! please don't go looking too hard and dox me) and rent a movie even though I can get anything I want on my computer for free lol. On Saturday I'll go to the farmer's market and some kind of vintage clothes sale event that's happening, if I can figure out where to park. As for the rest of the days, no idea. Maybe I'll go to the theater or something. I hate that everything costs money. I'm trying very hard not to rely too much on weed to whisk away my boredom because it's not a good habit to get into, but i'm sure I'll end up getting high at least two of these next few nights.
I'm not all doom and gloom, I promise. I have an assignment for a class to read 60 children's books this semester so I went and borrowed a few old favorites to get started. Maybe I'll manage to read all of them this weekend. Maybe will post about them here? I also have some big projects that I'll probably be able to get finished, but I decided not to post my crochet stuff on here because I also post it to an instagram my name is tied to. Also i'm definitely gonna clean my apartment. It's not that messy considering I've only been back for a week, but I haven't fully finished unpacking and I'd like my cats to have more space to run around.
August 25, 2024
I'm back. It's been awhile, hasn't it? A few things happened, but basically I moved back to school to start my final year of college. My cats seem very happy to be back in the apartment. It's more spacious than my childhood bedroom (though not by much lol), and I'm around them much more often. They follow me when I move from one room to another, they're always trying to play or cuddle with me, and it's just really affirmed what a great decision it was to adopt them a year ago. I have a few friends now, but I'm not the most active in their respective groups, and I'm certainly no one's best friend anymore. I wonder often if that amazing experience of being someone's most treasured, closest friend will only happen to me once, and that I'll never be as close to someone again, romantically or platonically. I try to remind myself that I was lucky enough to feel real love, but I wish it could have lasted longer (and been reciprocated, lol...). I'm certainly in a better shape than I was last August though. I think I've got the hang of this whole hermit thing, for better or worse.